You have entered the word’s cave of Mitchell Ellsmore, a renowned warrior of the English language with a passion for anything that riles up his forever restless mind.
Legend has it that Mitchell was born with a dictionary in one hand and a thesaurus in the other; scripts of wisdom that would come to dictate the way he would live his life.
As a baby, Mitchell could make pronunciations simply unmatched by his fellow daycare peers. And while he was beaten by Timmy Smith in the race for ‘first word honours’, his first spoken word ‘agoraphobia’ turned out to be much more impressive than Timmy’s ‘mama.’
When he was just five years of age, Mitchell made impressive metaphorical leaps in his linguistic development, connecting his masterful vocabulary with actual locative and contextual relevance. His defining moment arrived when he referred to his kindergarten classmate as a ‘hopeless sycophant’ as opposed to the more commonly used ‘loser.’ His teacher, Mrs Wipperton, described this moment as Mitchell’s coming of age and rewarded the young stallion with a list of swear words to attach to his ever-growing repertoire of insults.
Issues are not issues until this stubbornly courageous man has sprayed his vernacular prowess over them.
You have entered the cave. Now take your subjugated place in the corner and admire Mitchell the Mighty Word Dragon!